6 months on…

It’s hard to know where to begin as there’s been so much that has happened since I sat down to share an update but here we go…

Tomorrow marks 6 months since my last day as a corporate lawyer.

I’m a much happier, relaxed version of Amy than I was 6 months ago and I wouldn’t change that part of my story at all however, I’ve recently realised that just because I left behind the hustle culture and environment of corporate life, doesn’t mean it left me immediately.

After 2 weeks completely off work, I had felt more “myself” than I had in years. I had felt refreshed and ready to start on the next chapter of my life, which reflected my past MO: highly-driven, Type A high-achiever (and perhaps always needing to prove myself). Taking bold action was what I needed to do at the time. Taking further time to rest at that moment in time would have probably caused more anxiousness and restlessness in my spirit.

2021 in review (January-March 2021)

2021 has been year of “the unexpected”.

We were hopeful that life would return back to “normal” and whilst we had glimpse of it, there were also many things that made us feel that the uncertainty of 2020 would continue on.

For me, I knew early on that it was going to be a year of change when my word of the year revealed itself to be “Metamorphosis” – I just didn’t know what kind of change to expect…

It felt like time sped up once we hit the mid-way point of the year but I know there was still many things to be thankful for or to be noted down from the first half of the year too so I’ve been taking the time to review my journal entries and photos on my phone… I’m a fan of lists, noting down key words, patterns and events so here’s what I’ve noted down as I’ve been reviewing my journal entries from January to March 2021 (including quotes that spoke to me):

permission to sit and rest awhile.

I thought that by the start of February, I would be ready to kick start some of the projects that were birthed in 2020 including LIVE LIFE WELL: The Podcast, the beginning of a budding life and holistic wellness coaching business and also restarting our creative community, Site of Hope.

However, February is here and yet, I’m not ready to move on from this place of rest and contemplation.

Backstory…

During the third week of January, I did a wonderful 5 day challenge with Roma Waterman that has really set the pace of 2021 so far. As a person of faith, my heart’s desire is not to just plot my own path or journey in isolation but to partner with my Heavenly Father in the planning process.

THEMES

One exercise that Roma took us through was to look through your journal entries from the previous year, passages of Scriptures that had been highlighted to you, any prophetic words others had spoken over you and look for key themes before attaching Scripture passages that relate to them.

For me these themes emerged:

My Word for 2021

On 1 Jan 2020, I recorded a journal entry at 5:38am:

“I’ve been contemplating all of yesterday about what “word” you (God) would give me for 2020… the word that keeps popping up is FOUNDATIONAL, that 2020 is about taking the lessons learnt in the last decade, my last 30 years and relaying the foundations of what it looks like to live a life modelled after Jesus.”

Having had an opportunity now to read through all my journal entries from 2020, I can truly say that 2020 was a foundational year for me.

It was a year of stripping back and being reminded of what was important.

It was a year of acknowledging a lot of the mental junk and false belief systems/mindsets that I had picked up on in the last 30 years of living and then finding freedom from them.

It was a year of surrendering (though with struggle!) my trust issues to God and receiving healing from things of the past.

What I’ve been reminded of in 2020 is that an apprenticeship to Jesus is an ongoing process, it can be painful at times but the freedom on the other side is worth it.

Which brings me to 2021.

three years.

Dear Eli,

Google has informed me that the “traditional three-year anniversary gift is leather, which is symbolic of the marriage reaching a stage of flexible durability.”

Whilst we don’t really adhere to these traditions, I can say that after three years of marriage, there has definitely been a level of “flexible durability” to the nature of our relationship.

This past 365 days has seen us flex and grow together in so many ways. I’m a fan of reflecting and lists are always a fun way to look back on a year so here it goes:

thank you.

Dear Art by Ames,

We’ve been on such an amazing journey together.

It’d take forever to list all the things we did together but here are some of my highlights.

April- December 2018

It was around April 2018, when you started your first evolution from being just a hobby to a potential business idea. After I did my first paid commission, the cogs began to turn and I dived head first into learning about what it would take to turn an idea into a reality.

By July 2018, I had opened up our first Etsy store and participated in our first collaboration (#SheisCampaign2018).

something I never thought I would do.

It has been just over 4 months since I last wrote a personal piece just for me and my own internal processing.

In the last post, I ended with this phrase:

Once you know what your priorities are, then it’s a lot easier to work out what to hold onto and what to let go of.

Boy, have I been living this out in the last 120 days or so.

Towards the start of the last four months, I had an inkling.

An inkling that would not go away.

Something that I did not want to acknowledge and did not want to address.

Why? Because it would mean the end of something I cherished, something I had poured my heart, time, resources and hopes into. It was something that had got me through a really rough period in my life and given me lots of joy. Until it didn’t any more.

I started to dread it. It had started feeling like it was an uphill battle.

fruitful but revealing.

It’s been almost a month since I ventured back into the online space and it’s been such a fruitful time but also been a revealing time.

From a fruitfulness perspective, there was lots to be thankful for:

• launched my online store and watercolour portrait offerings
• partnered with Style Me Flowers for a Mother’s Day giveaway and supplied all her Mother’s Day cards that went out with her Mother’s Day arrangements
• collaborated with Brainy Box for their Mother’s Day gift packs
• launched Live Life Well: The Podcast
• hosted the relaunch gathering for Site of Hope
• invited to be part of the communications team for For Dignity

A lot of these projects did not happen overnight rather have been in the works for up to 12 months i.e. the podcast however, the little surprises like partnering with Style Me Flowers, Brainy Box and even the opportunity with For Dignity were organic and happened naturally through relationships that had been built over the last 12-18 months.

For the most part, there was no stress in most of this as I honestly believed that the solid 7 weeks away from social media, living a quieter life created space for these things to grow. I think it’s when the word is less noisy, your body, mind and spirit has room to breathe – best place for creativity to flourish.

I found I came back a lot more settled in my spirit and having a clearer focus on what would be uplifting and what would be stressful.

The revealing aspect of this time really showed up towards the end of last week. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted after the Site of Hope relaunch event and I think it’s from the space of things being out of alignment, when you are just operating from “fumes”, that’s where things can get a bit “funky”.

intentionality vs noise.

I started writing this on the weekend in the lead up to Easter Sunday…

Reflecting on the last 46 days, fasting from social media may seem like nothing compared to the sacrifice of one’s life on the cross, however, this period of “coming away” and “self-denial” has been eye-opening in so many ways. When there is less noise, the inner voice is heard more clearly and profoundly.  Some lessons can only ever be learnt away from the crowd in the quiet and stillness.

Initially, I had wanted to use the break from social media as a massive preparation time to launch things the moment I was back online however, quite soon into the fast, I felt the sense that this wasn’t what this period was supposed to be about.

It was supposed to be about rest, about just sitting and being recharged and refreshed in the presence of God. So, whilst there hasn’t been much “action” on the business front per say in the last 6 weeks and my previous Type-A self would have been screaming WHY??? as I pushed the pause button on some grand plans I had, lots of things have changed internally and externally in a beautiful way.

a very different place.

About 6 weeks ago, I decided to take a break from social media as part of the Lenten season, preparing my heart for the remembrance of the death of Jesus on Good Friday and then the victorious resurrection of Jesus on Easter Sunday.

6 weeks ago the world was a very different place.

Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-51235105

Despite not being as active on social media, it was hard not to be glued to my news feed and constantly refreshing the page to see what was the latest update on the pandemic our world is living through right now.

The world is not as it should be.

My heart breaks for the lives that ended too early and the families that will be forever scarred by this pandemic.

But the reality is, the world has not been as it should be for a long time.